In times, we idealize that person who seemingly loves us just as we are, who promises to stand by our side through thick and thin. However, do we deceive ourselves into thinking it’s true? Perhaps, deep down, we feel empty and seek to fill that void, aspiring to become better people for the other.
Throughout my life, I’ve constantly questioned and sought to understand what love truly is. Yet, I believe I’ve erred in imagining what it would be. At times, we think that by giving gifts, sacrificing our time and effort, and meeting a standard of perfection, we are loving. However, are we forgetting ourselves and our own desires in doing so?
Naively, I thought loving meant always tending to the other’s needs, showering them with countless gifts, striving to attain an ideal physical image to their liking, and restricting myself in social relationships, enclosing myself in a world solely focused on them. But, is this truly love? Or is it an illusion we create for ourselves?
I thought love consisted of being enchanted by every sweet word, every shared dream, every future plan. However, were these illusions more than mere empty words? Are they truly indicative of genuine love?
I assumed that loving meant sacrificing my own dreams and goals just to please another person. But, does love truly demand such sacrifice? Or is it possible to love and be loved without losing our own identity in the process?
I’ve learned that love isn’t about idealizing someone, putting them on a pedestal while neglecting our own self-esteem and well-being. It’s not about losing our essence or forgetting who we are to please another. On the contrary, true love should nurture us, help us grow as individuals, and give us the freedom to be who we truly are.
And so, after the collapse of my illusions, I faced the reality that I had mistaken love for sacrifice, for renunciation, for blind compliance. But now I know that true love begins with loving ourselves, respecting ourselves, and caring for our own happiness before committing to another’s.
Don´t fear the future, do not cling to the past, do not carry the weight of regret. You have done nothing wrong; you have simply learned a lesson about love and about yourself. And though the path may seem dark now, remember that there is always light at the end of the tunnel. Learn from your experiences, love yourself, and only then will you truly understand what love is.
Based on a true story. Mine.
